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5/7/11

Outrage: ASHA Article Suggests Creating Database of Clinicians Who Are "Safe" For LGBT Clients

Add this item to the "political correctness running amok in ASHA" file.
The latest issue of the American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology has an article that recommends that ASHA create:
...a database of communication disorders practitioners who are "welcoming" or "safe" to clients who are LGBT. Link
I guess it's only called segregation and blacklisting when conservatives do it. When liberals do it, it's called "being culturally sensitive."
So, what's the problem that LGBT people think that they need to have a database of practitioners who are "safe" (as opposed to what? Homicidally dangerous practitioners?) ?
Are LGBT clients being denied services by SLPs because they are LGBT?
No.
This has NEVER happened.
According to the article, it seems that - I hope you're sitting down because this is going to shock you and make you want to run out in the street to offer hugs of consolation to every LGBT person you can find - LGBT clients are sometimes an itty-bitty embarrassed to admit to clinicians that they have a partner.
The LGBT community: shy and easily embarrassed
Embarrassed.
These are the same people who don't have a problem parading down main street on Gay Pride day wearing nothing but body paint and a harness.
Guess what? Heterosexual clients are just as likely to be embarrassed with gay clinicians as vice-versa. It's difficult not to be embarrassed by a man who waxes his eyebrows, puts cinnamon highlights in his hair, and thinks Lady Gaga is a good singer. Whaddya mean it's not just their eyebrows they wax? Yikes! Sounds painful.
Maybe greedy ASHA can develop another certificate: "certified clinically competent to serve the LGBT community" (aka the ccc-lgbt?). (Cue up the cash register sound effect: Ka- CHING!)

Okay. You can have your database of "safe" clinicans. 
Go and run with this article's suggestion, ASHA.
In return:
I want ASHA to create a database of SLPs who are not gay or liberal and who are not hostile toward Christian, conservative Jewish, Mormon, or Republican views and beliefs. I want a database of clinicians who don't define marriage as a "meaningful" relationship between any three people who meet up on Craigslist. This database will blacklist liberal progressive clinicians (and ASHA bosses and board members) who roll their eyes when you mention Fox News, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, or Jesus. It will blacklist clinicians and ASHA bosses who think it is a sin not to recycle a plastic shopping bag but perfectly okay to abort a human fetus; who think that a woman should have the right to choose to have an abortion but no right to choose what kind of light bulbs she uses in her home. And I want all gay and lesbian clinicians to be forced by ASHA (if they refuse, revoke their cccs!) to attend diversity workshops so they will develop greater appreciation for and sensitivity to the history, culture, and ethical/moral standards of the heterosexual and Christian community.

The "safe" database suggested by the ASHA journal article would let everyone know which clinicians are "friendly" and "safe"  for LGBT clients (translation: which clinicians are LGBT). But it'll also be a great way for clients (and other clinicians and colleagues) to avoid patronizing and associating with those who have contempt for don't share their religious, moral, political, and social/family values.
If LGBT people can get away with this, why shouldn't other groups be allowed to do the same? Let's have databases for every multicultural group: Jewish clinicians for Jews, African-American clinicians for African-Americans, gun-owning clinicians for NRA members, etc. Let's segregate clinicians according to race, religion, gender, sexual habits, politics, gun ownership, age, marital status, socio-economic status, and what kind of music they listen to.
Gays don't want to go to straight clinicians? Fine. Don't. Develop your database.
Now give traditional values clients the same opportunity: provide an informative database so they can avoid going to liberal progressive/LGBT clinicians. Or even working with them! Maybe ASHA can even set up separate areas at the annual convention for them! As a public safety precaution, I suggest that ASHA put these areas no more than twenty paces from an open bar so that there won't be any acute cases of alcohol and club music withdrawal.
Personally, I would happily go so far as to pay a monthly fee (sort of like a Netflix subscription) to avoid having to ever again associate with liberals, Democrats, Obama and big government lovers, and anyone who listens to NPR. I believe in being compassionate toward the mentally ill, but think that these people are best handled by trained professionals.
Throw in a guarantee that all my future colleagues, co-workers, and neighbors will be Republicans and NRA members and I'm ready to empty out my entire bank account right now!

Go ahead with your database but remember:
what goes around comes around -



- and ends up biting you in the ass.